How does our thinking affect how we communicate remotely and with video communication…?
Have you ever wondered why we say “Look me in the eye”, when we’re asking someone to be honest and have you wondered why it’s easier to explain something in person? That’s psychology and non-verbal communication, both of which rely on being face-to-face.
It’s only taken the small matter of a global pandemic, but we’ve finally made a paradigm shift in how we communicate and work together. The thing is, that ‘millions of years of evolution and social conditioning’ hasn’t fully caught up with us, and we’re still struggling to fully replace human contact with video software. We need to change how we think about communicating and building relationships online.
I recently delivered a talk for the BBC, and the reaction was so positive that I decided I’d share it here too.
- Simply be aware that holding meetings remotely is different! We need to be aware that this is something we’re all new to and adapting to and we won’t always get it right immediately. Understanding that we need to change how we’ve conducted meetings is the first step. Don’t thrown out the rulebook, but be aware there is now a new chapter, or at least an addendum!
- Realise that you are losing a significant amount of non-verbal communication and physical feedback. It’s harder to ‘read people’, keeping eye contact is hard and describing something is harder, and misunderstandings are easy. I always ask “Does that make sense?”, rather than, “Do you understand?” which can be quite difficult to answer for some. Things do get lost in translation, especially as sound can be patchy and we’re working more and more with colleagues whose first language isn’t the same as ours.
- Realise that you are losing a significant amount of non-verbal communication and physical feedback. It’s harder to ‘read people’, keeping eye contact is hard and describing something is harder, and misunderstandings are easy. I always ask “Does that make sense?”, rather than, “Do you understand?” which can be quite difficult to answer for some. Things do get lost in translation, especially as sound can be patchy and we’re working more and more with colleagues whose first language isn’t the same as ours.
- Think carefully about your language/speech. Again, remember a lot of what we say is backed up with body language which is lost online. Avoid ambiguous terms and limit humour (it doesn’t translate well when not delivered face-to-face and can alienate colleagues who don’t have the same first language as we do). I always slow my rate of speaking online and particularly when speaking to non-English speakers. I pause more, to allow them to process what I am saying and over annunciate slightly. I often get non-English speakers apologising for not understanding, and explain “For as long as your English is better than my {insert language here} there is no need to apologise!”
- Be prepared to have to personally call out names to get engagement. It’s awkward but it’s a lot easier for people to switch off on video calls. When I’m training face-to-face I can read, from people’s body language, whether they’re engaged, and if not, I can bring them back in with a question or a challenge. You can’t see that online, particularly if cameras are off. I always ask people to leave their cameras on but we’re still a little uncomfortable about being judged by others who can see into our, previously, very private space. I ask, but you can’t always enforce, without it being seen as intrusive.
- Keep video presentations simple. Although a solution to p.2 above is to replace words with graphics and pictures, remember that detailed Powerpoint slides are really hard to read, especially when shrunk for ‘Screen Sharing’ – not everyone has a 40” monitor, particularly if they’re out and about and using one screen! Keep presentations uncluttered; reduce text and, as with any communication, write it and then halve it! Also don’t expect users to retain a lot of information from presentations, even if they can read it, it’s hard to focus for long periods of time. Get your critical points in early when engagement is highest and summarise briefly at the end. Also, don’t try to present AND takes notes, when you’re writing your notes, you’re losing eye contact and engagement. Ask someone else to takes notes whilst you conduct your orchestra of attendees!
- Be aware of timezones/locations. Offer duplicate meetings for timezones in the East and West. Also be aware that retention and focus reduces as the day goes on, so your 9am call, freshly fuelled by Starbucks, may well be at the end of a long day of coding for those further East!
- Limit attendance and keep meetings to one hour. This is what I call ‘meeting hygiene’ and is relevant to face-to-face meetings but even more critical online. Notwithstanding our sweet spot for attention (40-50 minutes), staring at a screen for an hour is very physically tiring, especially for our eyes. Limit attendees – if they’re not critical and they’re unlikely to contribute, think twice. Tell them you’re respecting their time! Sitting in any meeting where you know you won’t contribute is soul destroying. Go to your RACI, if they simply need to be informed, tell them, and send them notes and summaries later. I see a lot of presenteeism in overly bloated online meetings. Finish meetings on time and remember, we can only hold seven or so concepts or key facts at a time (Millers’s Law) so don’t bombard people.
- Always record meetings but don’t advertise that before the meeting or people won’t come! It’s a bit of psychology but if you really want someone to come to a meeting, don’t give them an excuse not to. However, don’t use automated AI transcriptions from calls, I’ve yet to see one that is accurate enough to not cause more confusion that it solves.
- Have a greater amount of time set aside for discussion rather than presentation. There is a scene in ‘Wolf of Wall Street’, where the Swiss insist on a few minutes of ‘smalltalk’ before the meeting. Having an initial chat on non-work related topics may be the only time some remote workers get to interact. Just mix things up; create polls to allow people to be part of decisions, people are way more likely to be engaged if decisions are being actively made there and then. Use realtime collaboration tools such as Miro to boost engagement – collaborating really engages people. Give them tasks and use breakout rooms so they have a chance to be heard more easily or more closely involved. Be aware though that it’s even harder to ‘put your hand up’ in online meetings so groupthink is even more likely to occur. If possible, make wholly non-work related calls – remember remote workers miss the ‘watercooler moments’ that build those relationships in an office and some remote workers may well never meet their colleagues face-to-face so may feel sidelined.
- Remote workers still need breaks and aren’t always available . They have more flexibility so want to use it! Employers, don’t steal the time that’s been saved by not commuting and respect working hours! Out of hours is out of order! Also appreciate not everyone has perfect working conditions and cats photobombing the meeting is just as embarrassing for the employee as annoying for the employer! Think twice about sacrificing your lunchtime for a meeting and expecting others to do that too. A lot of remote workers still want the structure of a reliable and secure ‘lunch hour’. And remember anyway, when we’re hungry, our focus falls off a cliff!
